Friday, November 11, 2005

Misadventures on the Metro

chapter 3

Truth or dare is the ultimate right of passage game. And one of the most classic “I dare you” scenarios involves marshmallows.

That is what I was thinking, anyway, on my Tuesday morning commute. I can remember stuffing large quantities of jumbo-puffed marshmallows into my mouth at one time, rushing to beat everyone else and come away conquer of the dare.

But the body is a beautiful thing. Just when you think you might clog your air passage, ending your life with a mouthful of fluffy white sugar puffs, your gag reflex kicks in. Then, as if sudden death weren’t looming, you can breathe again.

I wish the metro had a gag reflex. When too many people try to pile into an overcrowded car, it would automatically eject the excess. It seems like the logical solution. I mean, it’s not like another train isn’t barreling down the tracks in two minutes.

But no. Everyone is welcome on the metro – all at once for that matter. A reasonable person would see the packed car and patiently wait for the next ride to work. But then again a reasonable person wouldn’t stuff 25 large marshmallows in their mouth at once.

So today, even though I don’t want to, I feel like a marshmallow. And I have no idea who’s hand is violating me. They probably don’t know either. I just hope no one falls out when the door opens at the next stop. Actually, I hope the metro magically develops an ejection method so I can breathe again. No more marshmallows for me.

No comments: