Friday Favorites: Sleep-deprived Humor

I'm not divulging family secrets with the revelation that Chris and I laugh at A LOT of dumb stuff – monkeys, Will Ferrell, badly dubbed Japanese game shows, Chuck Norris, bodily functions, musical parody, interpretive dance, ourselves…the list goes on and on.

And while no one can deny my talent, charm, charisma, quirkiness, sparkle (okay, I’ll stop there) as an amateur comedian, you may be surprised to learn of Chris’ propensity toward funny. Especially when he’s running on zero sleep.

This week was a severely sleep-deprived week, therefore, I am pleased to present excerpts from Chris’ one-man show.

Even though he steals my limelight, my husband’s sleep-deprived humor is my favorite.

Act one: A Parable

Chris (puffy, bleary eyed): Becky, you should stop talking about how much you hate the coffee table because no one notices it until you say something.
Becky: But I do hate it. Since I was five years old I’ve hated that table. And it’s clung to me like a hitchhiker on cotton socks.
Chris: It’s like those monks who wear camel hair vests under their clothes as a constant reminder of their discomfort. Keeps 'em humble.
Becky: The coffee table is my camel hair vest?
Chris: Exactly.

Act two: Instant Messenger

Becky: hey, how are you?

Christopher: Hey lovie roo! good, how are you?

Becky: bueno
xoxo

Christopher: I just replanted the jade plants?

Becky: i thought you said pants

Christopher: yes my jade pants
Christopher: they are so green and fabulous

Becky: bahahaha

Christopher: more emerald than jade though
Christopher: If I water them less, they should get a pretty good root system
i made up some better soil
got some sand from home depot and mixed it in

Becky: pants
LOL
Watering sandy pants
ha!

Act three: An e-mail exchange, subject line "PLEASE!"

Chris: Alright, I just ordered the white one. Only $1395 plus tax.

Becky: Are you mocking me?

Chris: No. We just have the same sense of humor.

Becky: So you think all those e-mails I send you about clothes, shoes, housewares, handsoap, beard hats, cds, cars, mansions, etc. are just a joke?

Chris: At this point, I plead the 5th.

Act four: A true-to-life comparison

Homer: You can’t enjoy money when you’re dead, so why not have fun now?
Marge: Don’t you think you’ve had enough fun? Last year you spent five thousand dollars on donuts, two thousand on scalp massages, five hundred on body glitter.
Homer: Hey, I earned that money! While you lounge around here doing laundry and putting up drywall, I’m at work busting my hump.
Marge: Oh, please! From what I hear, you waltz in there at ten thirty, take a nap on the toilet, then sit around “Googling” your own name until lunch!
Homer: Who told you that?!
Marge: You shouted it while we were making love!

Act five: Join our giggle fest!

We think this movie looks hilarious!

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