Friday Favorites: Zombie back rubs

Weird things happen when you don't get enough sleep, like this:

[I'm reading in bed; Chris is snoring]

Chris [sits up, eyes dilated]: The ELEPHANTS!

Me: What?

Chris [urgently]: I swear it was the ELEPHANTS!

Me: ....

Chris: ELEPHANTS!

Me: Honey are you sleeping?

Chris: No, I mean...what?

[Chris rolls over, commences snoring]

Or this:

[I'm watching a movie in the living room]

Chris [yelling from the bedroom]: Jishrell menveo blah (indecipherable) meh you IRON bravelop pandjel (indecipherable) blah BOOM...

Or this:

[Middle of the night, Chris wakes up and climbs out of bed; I wake up and roll over. Chris crosses the room to my side of the bed and, suddenly, he is towering over me like a zombie. He peels back the sheet and starts rubbing my back]

Me [groggy and puzzled]: What are you doing?

Chris: I'm rubbing your back.

Me: Why?

Chris: I'm rubbing your back.

Me: Are you sleeping?

Chris: Um, er, scoot over. I want to sleep on your side of the bed.

Me: ...

I should be more observant, because these experiences left me with a lot of questions. How did the ELEPHANTS get a speaking role in Chris' dream? Did Chris develop a secret sleep language so he could chew me out without repercussions?

And really, if I kept my mouth shut, how long would Chris keep rubbing my back?

Because now that I think about it, middle-of-the-night zombie back rubs are my favorite.

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