The Queen of Christmas

I try, but I don't even come CLOSE to the gloriousness of my mom's version of Christmas. She decorates everything -- bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, doorknobs, banisters, toilet handles, your luggage.

For your viewing pleasure, I now present Christmas as it should be -- my mom's way. (If you care, see my puny attempts here).

Check out the porch garlands and trees, which are covered with a million little jingle bells.

The sled and skates are my favorite decorations. I used to skate on our local ice rink, which was created by flooding town park's baseball field with a fire hose (fancy, I know).

Being the crafty diva that she is, my mom bought a plaid tablecloth and made herself cute Christmas drapes. (P.S. Don't you love the belted santa pot?)

The huckleberry garland and lights are an all-year staple at my mom's house (which I love!). She has a knack for arranging displays, and can even make stuffed birds look like works of art.

Told you - banister decor.

One of mom's 9,000 garlands.

The pièce de résistance : a 12-foot Christmas tree, bedazzled with more than 100 strands of lights wrapped around each branch, an assortment of hand-tied bows, a smattering of reflective Christmas balls and tons of ornaments. My dad personally selects and chops down the tree each year, then swears when he can't fit it into the house.

And finally, the reason I gained 10 pounds over Christmas break.

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