Friday, May 11, 2012

Thoughts on a first Mother's Day

Scarlett + Asher, four months

When I was a newlywed, I was acquainted with an amazing couple. She was effervescent and so gorgeous. He was handsome and well-spoken. And it was abundantly obvious he absolutely adored her. The insecure part of me wanted to dislike them and find at least one flaw in their seemingly perfect relationship, but they were too nice. I couldn't help but like them. 

Summer had cancer. I learned later that George married her in a shotgun wedding so he could support her through chemotherapy. Their first few years of marriage were unimaginably intense, but with George by her side, Summer completed treatment and went into remission.  

With the cancer behind her, Summer wanted more than anything to be a mother. Her doctors advised against it, warning that it could threaten her fragile health. She and George had only been married a couple of years when she became pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. I remember how she glowed while she was pregnant, even brighter after her precious boy was born.  

A few short months later, her cancer returned with a vengeance. And just after the baby turned one, Summer passed away. I still mourn for her sweet baby and husband.  

I remember my own insurmountable grief about not being able to conceive. With each year of struggle, the sadness grew until I thought I might drown. My heart ached for babies the same way Summer's did - I would have given anything.

Now that I've been blessed with children, even the thought of not seeing them grow up stirs more emotion in me than all of my years yearning for them. I cannot imagine missing the day-to-day moments. The smiles. The learning, discovering and growing.  

I can't imagine missing the sleepless nights that turn into a nondescript string of days where I don't remember the last time I washed my hair. The inconsolable crying that threatens to shatter my last nerve until a steady, innocent gaze and hint of a smile breaks through and makes everything okay. The milestones, big and small - four consecutive hours of sleep, sitting up, genuine smiles, growing out of teeny tiny baby clothes.  

The first words and the made-up stories. The first time riding a bike or tasting ice cream. The first day of school. The first best friend. The first time behind the wheel. The first date. The first heart break. 

And not just the firsts. The seconds, thirds, fourths...

I am so grateful for my life. And that I have each precious day with my children. I know hearts can be healed, no matter how broken. Imagine the joyous reunion when Summer sees her family again and can hear about their adventures first-hand! 

Whether you have six children or zero, a husband, job or both, be thankful for the life your mother gave you. Each day, filled with a myriad of ups and downs, creates such a beautiful story.

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14 comments:

Holly said...

welcome back and happy mother's day!!! :) xo

Anonymous said...

Becky, You make me cry with the beautiful words you write. You are a fabulous mother with your first official Mother's Day approching this Sunday. Your children are so lucky to have you. Thanks for being a great daughter, wife, sister, friend, but especially a Mother. Love you lots, Mom

amelia said...

You made me cry. Much love Becky.

Telley said...

Love to you, Chris, and the beautiful, precious babes, Becky.

kristilee said...

I LOVED your post. SO beautiful. And I'm so glad Wickstrom Adventures is back!! Can't wait to check in on you, Chris and the kiddos! Happy Mother's Day!!

Kara said...

I LOVE this. Thank you for finally coming back. I've missed your writing. Happy Mother's Day to a most deserving mother!

Rachel said...

yayayayay!! The blog is back! This is good for me even if you are not back. I am so happy you are a mother. You are just about my favorite mother as I am obsessed with your babies and you. Happy, happy mother's day. Your children are exceedingly blessed, truly, to have you in their lives.

Jessica F. said...

Beautiful post! So glad you're back. I missed you and your amazing posts.

Happy Mother's Day!

Jena said...

That is beautiful. Happy Mother's Day, Becky!!!

aniC said...

So glad you blogged again. This post was amazing. Thank you so much for sharing this story! I am so very happy for you guys!

Rachel said...

I thought for sure you were talking about me and Joel. LOL!! :) But seriously, I am friends with George on facebook, and am sure he would love to read this tribute to him. I had all of those same feelings that you described, and you know I also experienced that deep pain. But look at us now! :)
Love you and can't wait to meet your little babes someday soon.

Andrea Hatch said...

You are as gifted with words as you are with styling (everything). Beautiful post and beautiful children, I'm so happy for you guys!

DC Diva said...

Becky is back! Becky is back! I've been waiting for you to return to the blogging world. HAPPY DAY!

Beautiful post Becky. I am SO HAPPY you are a mother and clearly rocking every step of the way. You handle your trials and triumphants with such grace. I admire you.

I'm so excited to meet your babies! Happy (very late) Mother's Day!

scrilla said...

Beautiful post Becky...