Not sew simple

Why on earth I thought it wise to put my non-existent sewing skills into practice for Mother's Day, I'll never know. When I started I was really excited (ordering fabric from a specialty eBay store, loading up with "tools" at my local craft mart, selecting the perfect pattern). But the project became a lot of sew--rip out stitches--sew--rip out stitches, repeated over and over. I did finally finish. And despite the resemblence of the final product to a circus tent (I had much higher hopes for the fabric), I successfully graduated my first-ever sewing project.

Chris deserves major brownie points for his assistance deciphering the Greek/Swahili/Mumbojumbo pattern, but also earns demerits for requesting that I make his clothes from now on. Message to Chris -- no, I will NOT make your clothes because

a) I don't sew men's clothes,
b) I've only completed one solo project,
c) homemade clothes will not pass the straight face test at your law firm (let alone anywhere else),
d) I don't have unlimited free time,
e) do I really need more reasons?