Wednesday, April 01, 2009

In the toilet: American Idol week 4 fashion recap

For the past seven seasons of American Idol, Paula's go-to comment regarding a contestant's performance has been:

"You look lovely tonight."

This season Ms. Abdul isn't offering her usual outfit compliments. Is it because she's trying not to be scooted out by the new (and improved) judge Kara DioGuardi? No. It's because of this:

Megan -- how many necklaces are you wearing? And I'm confused about the mechanics of a bustier tucked into skinny jeans. Is it a bustier/bodysuit? Where do you buy such a thing?

Then there was Scott. His hair reminded me of every Mormon video from the 80s and 90s (including Saturday's Warrior). THIS WAS THE HAIR:

Eddie Munster made a guest appearance:

If the above style monstrosities aren't reason enough to FIRE THE STYLISTS, look what they did to Lil Rounds. On what planet is this dress flattering? And why did the camera crew insist on so many bootie shots? Poor girl. As Simon often says, "She's going to regret that in the play back." (P.S. Why is she always wearing a wig?!)

Let's pause for one second to recognize the best-dressed person of the night. Of course it was Kara. From the hair to the makeup to the plunging LBD, fierce earrings and covetable cocktail ring, I'm guessing she picked this herself:
The hair was even great from the back:
Randy wore his pajama top with Sally Jesse's glasses and a satellite strapped to his wrist (oh, and last week's home-grown jewelry):

Then there was Paula. Oh Paula.
When I was 8 I had my own beaded jewelry business. I ran the operation out of my front yard and employed (read: utilized free slave labor) my friends. My little 8-year-old self could not imagine the day I'd see my homegrown creations on the neck of someone famous. She even wore the matching earrings? I never would have thought of that combo (too much in my book). But wow.

My 8-year-old self would also be perplexed that a grown woman wrapped herself in a puffy pink down comforter for an appearance on national television. But, even my 8-year-old self would have noticed that her two little monkeys are about to jump out of bed!

Also, the gold glitter shadow and bubblegum pink lip gloss = my 8-year-old self's idea of heaven.

Finally, we come to the low point of the evening. And the most compelling argument for FIRING THE STYLISTS:
The worst hairdo in the show's history. Maybe the worst hairdo of all time. The full-body shot gets worse:
Even the judges were stunned by her terrible outfit. They kept asking, "What did you sing again?"

Stay tuned for next week's "In the Toilet" American Idol "fashion" series.

Click here to catch up on last week).

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Rachel said...

I would like to watch American Idol with you sometime, please. I've only seen it once. In my life.

DC Diva said...

amen, Amen, AMEN!!! And what's w/ Paula's Tori-Spelling-esque concave chest? It's like she missing a serious chunk of her body right before her BOOBS take over. When she stands up and sits down it's very obvious. Maybe that's why she's wearing 8-year-old Becky's bling... to cover it up?

Melissa said...

Becky, just have to say that you're hilarious. I had no idea you were such a writer! Love it!

Holly said...

okay, i've been thinking about randy's homegrown necklace... maybe his daughter made it for him?? if that is the case, then it's sweet... if not... well you already said it.
i still think the worst hair on idol has got to be sanjaya! her hair was kind of punky, where as sanjayas was just plain pukey! :)

Holly said...

post script: poor, poor, poor lil rounds. what are they thinking????

Holly said...

post post script: (sorry) someone should really call What Not To Wear, because you know if they are watching they're dying!!

becky said...

Oh girls.

I have to say that Holly's comments(/overall good attitude in general) are making me re-think my harshness, especially to Mr. Jackson. I'm going to hope his beads are from his daughter. That's sweet. I take back my mean comments.

And really, let's admit that Paula is still a pretty gorgeous woman -- did you see that up-close shot of her face? Not too shabby.

I just really wish the clothes were better. They could do so much better. The stylists are doing a disservice to the contestants who are supposed to look better when they're on the show, not when they're auditioning! Oh my!

P.S. Hi Melissa! You are too adorable. :)

Ming said...

I love these AI fashion posts. So great & I couldn't agree more!

Jessica F. said...

I love you! I don't even watch American Idol but I think I would be bugged if I did!

Cleat, Ida and Nelana said...

I don't watch American Idol either, but I love your fashion recaps. I think they should hire Becky to do a full rescue fashion PR campaign!! [of course the job would come with an unlimited account to dress Becky too :) ] I have to say the first girl's worst fashion accessory are those awful tattoos. Like her abundant necklaces, her tattoos didn't get the "less is more" memo.

Devin + Sang + Chase said...



Still laughing!

Amen sister. What a joke! I could swear that Allison girl was inspired by the outfit options on Guitar Hero. And I saw this picture of Scott with short hair - it looked so good. Why is he a fuzz head now?

So I'm guessing you're a Kara fan? Me too - she's saved this season. I think we might have to watch this show via a conference call sometime!

kristilee said...


Seige said...

thanks for making my day!

Harley King said...

There are fashion do's and fashion don't's.

See Becky for fashion do's.